Issue #45 | The Engagement Edition

The romantically impaired's guide to popping the Q in Paris

Nov 22, 2024

Introducing the soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs. *Front of Book*

Happy Friday,

Big news here at Front of Book. Ms. Front of Book, a.k.a. Nikita McElroy, has agreed to become Mrs. Front of Book!

That’s right, we got engaged in Paris in September. Here’s the story.

THE BACKSTORY

Nikita and I are a modern love story. We met on Hinge. She showed up a half hour late to our first coffee date on a lovely afternoon in June 2022. But she won me over with her charm, humor, and delightful accent (she grew up in the Philippines). Several great dates followed; she was late to every one of them. Next thing we knew, she had moved into my Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn, apartment, much to my cat Viggo’s chagrin.

Early in our relationship, Nikita half-joked that her terms for getting engaged included a proposal in Paris, a sapphire ring, and a Chanel bag. As the idea of proposing began percolating in my mind after we discussed a potential Paris trip, I decided that she could have two of the three.

THE PLAN

I had two things going against me for a surprise proposal: I’m a terrible liar and Nikita is a tough one to surprise. This was also a two-part surprise, as well, in that she didn’t know for sure that we were going to Paris at all. Although we had discussed a trip there for her birthday, she left the decision and planning up to me. That included not just the major surprise (the proposal itself) but also accommodations, activities, reservations, etc. It was a lot for someone who has never been accused of being a great organizer. I managed to keep the destination a surprise all the way to the gate of the flight—after bluffing at flights to London, Copenhagen, Las Vegas, and Buffalo, N.Y.

Once I made the decision to do this, I had a lot of fun planning it. With the help of a couple of her friends I found the right sapphire ring, booked a wonderful AirBnb in the 11th Arrondissement, made some dinner reservations, arranged for a champagne tasting tour, and got two tickets to Madame Butterfly at the Paris Opera.

The Opera was central to my proposal plan: On the day of the performance, I would tell Nikita we were going to a matinee to give us an excuse to get dressed up in the afternoon. Then, instead of taking her to the show, we would go to a predetermined spot where a photographer would be waiting for us.

I found a freelance photographer, a Paris-based American named Stephanie Slama, who had done proposal photographs before. One condition I had was that I did not want to do it in front of the Eiffel Tower like everyone does; instead, I was looking for a spot a little more intimate. She suggested the Medici Fountain in Luxembourg Gardens.

THE DAY OF

Proposal day started off rough. We were jet-lagged and had stayed up till 3 a.m. the night before watching The Office in bed before splitting an Ambien. We slept late and wasted half the day, and then a few hours later had to rush to get dressed for the fake Opera. I was nervous, Nikita was annoyed, and we were running late.

We arrived at the Luxembourg Gardens at exactly 3 p.m., when the Opera was supposed to start. As I led her through the park, Nikita said, “Where is this Opera anyway?” I pointed clumsily toward the Luxembourg Palace. “In there, I think.” She wasn’t impressed.

Now I was getting really nervous. What if the photographer wasn’t there? What if Nikita said no?? We still had five days left in the trip! Things could get awkward.

Thankfully, Stephanie was there. As we approached the top of the fountain pool, I stopped Nikita and said we should take a photo, since it was such a nice spot. I maneuvered us in front of Stephanie, which we had pre-planned, and then apologized for getting in the way of her photo. Stephanie, again as planned, said, “Oh no, that’s fine. Actually can I take your photo? You both look great.”

Stephanie took a few shots of us on her iPhone and then flashed a thumbs up—the signal that she was ready to record.

I turned to Nikita. “So, we’re not actually going to the Opera. I brought you here for another reason.”

The rest was a blur. My hands were shaking and my eyes started to water. I had a little speech rehearsed but I don’t even know how much I got out. Nikita was starting to figure out was was happening, and I knew I had to get moving.

I dropped to a knee.

THE OUTFIT

I wanted the day to be as special as possible so I got a new suit made. I’ve wanted a brown suit for years, and more specifically I wanted a brown J. Mueser suit. I reached out to Jake Mueser, whom I’d interviewed for my GQ guide to black tie, back in July to see if we could get a suit from their Waverly line put together in time.

My original thought was to get a brown seersucker or linen suit, since they do such a good job with those fabrics. But after meeting Jake and looking over fabrics, we decided that I would get more wear out of a light wool. We picked a beautiful chocolate brown fresco from Loro Piana. It’s breathable, soft, and versatile enough to wear in spring, summer, fall, and, as J. Mueser’s creative director Matt Woodruff told me when I went in for a fitting, “It would be cold, but you could even wear it in the winter.”

The suit was ready in about six weeks, and I paired it with a tan and maroon stripe Carter Shirt and a diamond pattern maroon and navy silk tie that was perfect with suit, with the red of the maroon tying with the red in the brown of the suit.

The shoes were a pair of Morjas penny loafers I’ve mentioned before. And the sunglasses, which were lost that day in Paris—an offering, of sorts, to our future union—were from Monokel.

I had envisioned Nikita wearing her long-sleeve navy Jacquemus dress for the proposal. She’d bought it on a previous trip to Paris, and I think she looks so elegant and glamorous in it, so I’m happy she decided to wear it that day.

THE VERDICT

It took a minute or two, but she said yes! Nikita was genuinely shocked and after repeatedly saying through happy tears “You’re so stupid” and “I hate you so much” (with love), she agreed in front of a growing audience to enter into the bounds of matrimony with me. One of the highlights was when everything was over a man in the audience shouted “We’re the winners here!” and launched into applause. The rest of the onlookers joined in. It was a special moment.

Here’s the video of the proposal:

nikita_mcelroy

A post shared by @nikita_mcelroy

We spent the next few hours doing a shoot with Stephanie in the park. We called and texted family and friends, and then went for a rooftop drink overlooking Paris at Bonnie in the S/O Paris Hotel. From there we walked over to the Opéra Bastille for an agonizing-but-still-worth-it four hours of Madame Butterfly, made more bearable by champagne during the intermissions.

I texted Nikita shortly before publication and asked what she thought of the whole thing:

My verdict: INCREDIBLE!
I am tough to surprise but even tougher to impress! I knew something interesting was gonna happen on this trip and I was truly caught off guard! The fact that you were able to keep this a secret from me for 2 months was insane to me. I can read you like a book but the fact that i didnt figure it out was annoying 😂 i ultimately i love the proposal! It was perfect! I didnt see it coming! Oh and you hired a photographer?! Who are you???!

Mahal kita, Shoogar! Lab lab magpakailanman!

Coming Up at Front of Book…

We have some fun things on the horizon here at FOB, including:

Original Madras Trading Co. and Sunspel reviews
A Tokyo menswear shopping spree
An update to the 120-Day Celebrity(ish) Body Challenge
Buying Red Wings on eBay
And the second annual Not-a-Gift-Guide Gift Guide

The Feature Well

New story alert! This week I published a feature with Esquire about the making of Kid Nation, one of the craziest reality shows of all time. In 2007, CBS dropped 40 children at a movie ghost town in the New Mexico desert with the ambitious goal of allowing them to create their own society. What could go wrong? “If you took extraordinary kids and gave them the chance to rethink government or religion or education—these issues that plagued us then and today—what would they come up with if unencumbered by our legacy issues as adults?” one of the producers said at the time.

Here’s how the story starts:

The wheels on the bus went round and round and round and round, driving in circles though the desert outside Santa Fe. It was April 1, 2007, a bright, crisp morning and the first day of shooting for a new CBS reality show, Kid Nation. Thirty-six school-aged children from across the country were crammed onto an old school bus, backpacks on their laps. A small crew of cameramen, sound technicians, and producers crowded in the aisle, trying to get footage for the show’s opening scene.
As they drove past little other than shrubs, a few dilapidated barns, and dust clouds, the expressions on the kids’ faces ranged from bored to outright petrified. They would be without their parents for the duration of the forty-day shoot on a movie set in the desert. They would cook their own food, clean their own toilets—and establish and run their own government.